Whispers In Me

Dear reader, I am a princess of The Achayna Kingdom and this is my story.

Before I became a part of this beautiful castle that I live in now, I lived with my mother and father in the Statford Village. Sometimes I saw figures and shadows lurking throughout the castle, but whenever I would tell someone they would think I was crazy.
Everyone would tell me I was delusional except this one guy, Alexander, I met him out on the town. I was hesitant to tell him at first because of all the name calling, but he seemed very open-minded and trustful to me so I decided to tell him. He believed me and ever since I felt relief that I could express myself to someone so freely, we had become close.

My parents wanted to marry me off to another prince, but I didn’t believe in forced love. They noticed me hanging around the villagers more and saw that I had took a liking to Alex. They didn’t like that I was having an interest with the “peasant” so they decided to try and marry me off with a prince from another land. I know that it was for their own use to make way for trade and more money. I didn’t want a prince in particular. I wanted true love. I tried to stand up for myself but they would end up shutting me down, telling me what’s best for me. Maybe it was what was best for me, but I knew who I wanted.

They tried to keep me indoors and on 24 hour watch to make sure that I wasn’t in contact with the Alex. I found a way to keep him in my life. I would sneak out to go meet him at a lake not too far and we always had an amazing time doing random things together and talking.

One day I got caught sneaking back in and they put me on hard level watch. They locked me in my room days. I lost count of how long, I had stopped keeping track. The servants would bring me food and I would just stay in my room, sleep and eat. My only escape then was writing stories. I would daydream about Alex and wish I could see him at least once more and just talk to him. I even began drawing pictures of random scenarios that would happen between us. I was convinced that my art would spring to life one day. A part of me wished that he would miraculously come and save me. But it never happened.

Eventually they let me out of my room. I came out of my room and went straight for Alex. For some reason they let the guards off of my back. I figured that it was because they lost interest in the situation and decided to let me live my life.

I found one of our friends that we used to hang with and asked about Alex. A sad expression planted and grew on his face. He told me that Alex had been killed. I couldn’t breathe straight. My heartbeats wasn’t steady. I searched his face for a smirk or anything to say that this was a joke. I hoped to God that it was a lie. I was a stranger to death. No one close to me have died yet. Both of my grandparents are still living and so is all of their children. I didn’t know what to do. I guess my friend saw me standing there staring into space and asked if I was going to be okay. I just said, “yeah, ill see you later,” and I went back home, to my room.

I wallowed in my room for I don’t know how long. I wasn’t in the mood to speak to anyone or do anything. My parents were concerned for my health because I wasn’t even eating. I was already on the small side. I still am. I even began to blame them for separating us in the first place. I would have had more time with him. I didn’t want to speak to them. I hated them. I just wallowed and cried most of my days afterwards, wishing that he was with me.

Even though I was greatly depressed, my parents were still planning to marry me off. I began not to even care anymore. I realized that my life was out of my control.

A few weeks later I began feeling a little bit better, realizing that my life was still going on without him. I convinced my parents to at least let me go out with their chosen prince for a while to get to know him before I actually commit. They were trying to rush my decision and have me blindly married, but they agreed to my terms. They put out word to other kingdoms that I was needing a husband and searching for candidates. From the ones that responded, I went on looks, how most girls would. I chose one.

It was nice when we met. His name was Timothy. He was wonderful. We went on a nice date and he had me laughing and talking all night. I haven’t really smiled in a long time. I almost forgot about Alex. Almost.

A few days later my parents left and Tim came over. We were alone in the castle aside the servants. We were walking and talking as we walked the halls. I was showing him around my home. Then, he asked to know more about me. I asked him, “what about me do you want to know?” He started off lightly with normal questions about my past and questioned about things that I like and don’t like. The problem began when he went far left with the questions. He asked me when was the last time I had sex. I looked away and blushed, hesitant to answer. He asked me what was wrong. I just told him that I couldn’t really remember. I honestly couldn’t remember when me and my Alex last fooled around. The days got away from me. Then he said, “Next question. Would you mind if I kissed you?” I stopped walking and looked at him before shyly looking away. I honestly didn’t know how to feel about that. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and say no so I told him that I didn’t mind. He wrapped his one of his arms around my waist and backed me up against the wall and kissed me. It was passionate. It was nice. He stopped to look at me to see my reaction. I guess when he saw me looking back at him he figured that I wanted more, so he gave me more. He held me tighter and kissed me deeper to the point that I was leaning back into his arms. I didn’t want him to stop, but I lightly pushed him back off of me. I felt slightly inappropriate. We had just met. I felt that I shouldn’t go any further. We kept walking and we were talking about something and I began feeling him getting bored with what I was saying. He asked where my bedroom was. I know what he was trying to do, but I couldn’t lie and say that I didn’t have one. I don’t know how to lie. I told him where my room was and he asked if he could see it. I said, “maybe we shouldn’t…” He agreed and asked where could we sit and hang so I walked him to the living area. We sat on the couch in front of the fireplace. We were very alone. I was very conservative so I made sure that my dress ended below my knees and not too much my my breast were showing. He didn’t care for any of that. He leaned forward and kissed me again, this time climbing in between my legs. I know I should have stopped him, but I didn’t want to. I lost it when he began sliding his hand up my dress. I stopped kissing him and backed away. He leaned over and whispered for me to relax. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I had a stranger touching me. The fabric of my dress was flexible so he could easily run his hand up the waistband and unhook my bra. He did just that. Then, he started tugging my nipples. I moaned. I really lost it when he started kissing my neck and fingering me. After that, my panties slid off and down his pants went. I soon stopped his advances. I crossed my legs out of shyness. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, him or tell him to leave, but I didn’t want him to leave. I wondered what if it didn’t feel like it did with Alex. Tim looked at me confused as I was thinking. I tried to sit upright and he stopped me. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “I don’t think we should do this.” “Why not? We’re just having fun.” I was still confused. He slowly spread my legs open and put his face down there. I never had that happen before. I was insecure, wondering what I even smelled like. He started licking it me and I started getting uncomfortable and more insecure. I didn’t like it. He put his fingers back in while he licked a part of me that make me lean my head back. I squeezed tightly around his fingers. I didn’t want him to stop. He asked if I wanted him to stop. I said no. Once again he started and I had my eyes closed. Then, he stopped. Before I could look up and see why, he was already pushing into me. I tried to push him off, but he held my wrists together to stop me. He kissed me to stop me from screaming too loud. I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t want him in me, but it felt good.

By the end of that night I couldn’t tell whether the sex was mutual or if I had gotten violated. I laid in my bed thinking about it. I should have screamed out for someone, but they wouldn’t be able to hear me in the study anyway. Plus, that would have been so embarrassing. Though, it’s not like I didn’t like it. He made me feel good. It just shouldn’t have happened. Not so fast.

Every time we met up after that we ended up having sex, regardless if I wanted to or not. In the garden. At the lake. I just didn’t know how to say no.

One day he tried for me, but I wasn’t in the mood. We were at my home and he came to my bedroom. He impulsed but I rejected. He became irritable and we started arguing. I told him I didn’t want to and he insisted and that time, I knew that it was rape. After he did his business he left and that night I felt completely violated and used. I was scared. I didn’t want to date anyone else anymore I just wanted to be alone. I cried because I had no choice. This is who I had to be with and I had no choice. I lay on my bed in the darkness and cried. The tears stopped when I felt a hand graze over my lower back. I immediately opposite the hand and let out a light scream. I didn’t know that anyone else was in there, but when I looked around there was no one there. I was losing my mind.

Days went by and I tried my best to avoid Tim. I considered just giving myself to him to get it over with, but what about how I felt? Did that even matter? I was supposed to live for him. I didn’t know what to do.

We went on a few casual dates with my parents and I pretended everything was fine just so everything would be normal not not super uncomfortable. They were happy for us.

One night I was in my bed resting with the lights out and Tim had slid over next to me, waking me up. I asked him, how he got into my room. He didn’t answer. He put his hand over my mouth and pulled up my night gown. I started slapping at his face to get him off of me but that didn’t work too well with my small hands. I began to cry knowing that there was nothing I could do. He then called me a slut. I was extremely insulted. While he had his way with me tears ran down my face.

I heard something that made me stop crying and look to my left. I had become more afraid of what I heard than of the situation itself. I tried to get him to stop again but it was no use. I heard it the strange sound again and I looked to my left and I saw a figure of a body. It was a dark figure made out in my dark room with a white coming from its eyes. I was afraid and started panicking. The boy told me to shut the fuck up, right before he flew off of me. I heard him hit the wall. I sat up in bed and looked at him across the room, then back to my left to where I saw the figure. It wasn’t there.

After that whole experience I didn’t want to go in my bedroom. I couldn’t even force myself to sleep. I had to be on the verge of passing out to even get a couple of hours in. Even then I would randomly awake and open my eyes to stare at my surroundings in paranoia making sure that nothing was watching me. I couldn’t tell whether I should have been afraid or feel protected.

The next morning my mother regretfully informed me that Tim got killed. Soon after she told me that, news got around on why I was single again. A rumor had been spread that I was a witch or I was cursed and that everyone that had affection for me would die or something. I dismissed the rumor and I went on about my days sort of content of being free. Though, I didn’t want another guy friend I wanted to be alone. I didn’t want affection. But my parents were forcing me to elope with someone else. I chose again.

I was afraid one morning and tired because I couldn’t sleep. I felt like someone was watching me all the night before. Then, that same morning I decided that I was done with that life. I decided to run away. I snuck out the same way that I did when I used to leave to meet my Alex. It brought back pleasant memories. I missed him. The only person in the world who understood me. The only one who I believed ever would. And he was gone. The thought of that made me want to go back to where we made love for the first time and just bawl my eyes out. On the way out and over a wall I slipped. Why? Because I saw something staring at me. I saw the shadowy figure in the window. It caught me off guard and I missed my step. The figure was then in the light and it was no longer a shadow, it was a hollow form of my Alex. I was gone.

When I woke up it was so bright I was blinded. The doctor told me that I had been in a coma for 10 weeks. I was fine, but I couldn’t remember why I fell. I knew it was something, but I just couldn’t remember. I walked out of my room and I was greeted by my parents and my chosen soon to be husband. That was my first time seeing him and he had to see me looking like an old hag. They told me that he visited me multiple times a week to make sure that I was going to be okay. That was sweet, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want love. I just wanted to be alone.

My parents made me get dressed and cooperate to spend some time with him. He was Prince Grimm. It was my first day awake and they were still trying to marry me off. I grieved.

We went on a little outing and got to know each other. We went back to my castle and he wanted to see the garden. I found it weird because he wanted to see it while it was dark out. I showed him though. We arrived and as I thought, it was just a bunch of plants that could barely be seen in the dark. I looked at him, ready to leave. He stood there and smiled lightly at the garden. I waved my hand in his face and demanded to know what he was looking at. It was nothing of a sight. He hadn’t spoken a word.

With both hands against my waist he turned me around. I faced the garden once more. He held my hand up a few inches away from my face, palm facing the garden. My hand waved slowly across the garden from left to right. The garden lit up with a golden hue, from left to right. The moon shined brighter. Fireflies surrounded us, dazzling about. I looked at him confused. I didn’t know what was going on. He walked me further into the garden. We stood in front of a rose bush. He instructed me on what to do and I followed. I picked up a single rose, breaking it from its stem. I closed my eyes and lightly blew onto the flower. “Open your eyes,” he finally spoke. I opened my eyes. The previously dim rose that I held in the palm of my hand was then as bright as it had been reborn.

Days went by before I saw him again and I wasn’t unhappy to see him. He became more of a best friend to me. One night we were walking down the hallway heading toward the study room where I slept at night with the lights on because I was still afraid of my bedroom. He never asked me the reason until that night I saw the figure in the shadows again. It followed us. I clung onto the Grimm’Cs arm the whole time and buried myself into him while we walked. I know it might have been uncomfortable for him but I didn’t care. He was big and I felt protected. When he walked with me into the study room I had him close the door behind him. I was hoping that he wasn’t planning on doing anything with me. He just sat down in a chair across from me. He told me that he wasn’t leaving until he knew that I was okay. I lied to him and said that I was, but he tore threw my lie and stayed anyway. He spent the night with me and distracted me from everything that was damaging. I laid in his arms that night and fell fast asleep.

I awoke the next morning laid out on the couch. Grimm was gone. I couldn’t stop thinking about him all that day. He was nice, warm, and smelled good. I felt like he was going to save me. He was going to make my life a bit better. I began to like him. Shortly after I woke up he walked in with two plates and handed one to me. We talked all that morning. I looked a mess, but he didn’t seem to care. It was nice.

Somewhere in the conversation he kissed me. I actually liked it. It wasn’t a deep kiss. It was a peck that I closed my eyes for. When I opened my eyes I saw the face of Alex. I let out a short shriek and jumped back. He asked what was wrong and I lied and said, “nothing, I’m just being paranoid. I’m usually not up this early.” He brushed it off, looking kind of offset. I didn’t want him uncomfortable. I kissed him the second time. Then I hugged him, cuddled under him and ate.

He left later that day because he was needed back home, but though he left, I wasn’t alone. I sat in the study room reading a book, one of my favorite romance novels. As I read the words, they were also being spoken aloud next to me. From the corner of my eye I noticed someone next to me so I jumped further on the couch opposite end of the couch and looked to see Alex. He sat there on the other end of the couch, staring back at me. He smiled. He grinned and held his arms out for me to climb into him. I did. Maybe I was imagining him, but I didn’t care. I was happy to see him. I asked, “I thought you were dead. How are you here?” “I don’t know,” he said, “but I’m here and I miss you.” “I miss you too,” I said as I held him tighter. Then, I thought about it. “Where did you come from?” Before he could answer my question someone interrupted, coming into the study room to check on me. “Who are you talking to?” My mother asked. “Alex. He’s not dead!” I said, pointing towards him. She looked toward where I pointed, but I noted that she couldn’t see him. “Stop playing games and get dressed,” she said before walking out into the hallway. “You are dead aren’t you,” I said. He nodded.

Ever since then I had been paying more attention to Alex than Grimm. I distanced myself. I felt like I was supposed to be with Alex. He was back in my life. I didn’t want anyone else. Grimm would always come check on me to hang out or something but I would brush him off to stay indoors with Alex.

I didn’t leave the house for weeks at a time until my parents put a stop to it. They forced me to leave the house and hang with Grimm, so I did. When we got together he looked at me and told me that I looked drained and pale. He tried to figure out what was wrong. After hanging out with him that day I began to really feel for him again. He told me deep stories about his life and did things to make me laugh and he showed that he genuinely cares for me. He always did. He told me about his past romances and how he did everything but it always failed. I didn’t want to leave him that night, but I couldn’t stop thinking of Alex. He was in my life now, and only mine. Even if I wanted to be with Grimm, how could I have him in my life with Alex haunting me?

That night I had a talk with Alex and told him that I truly missed him, but I had to move on. It wasn’t possible for us to bear a relationship. He wasn’t trying to hear anything that I had to say. He wouldn’t let me leave him. He told me that I could never leave him. I demanded to be let go. Then, he said that he would kill Grimm and anyone else I date so that I could be with him and only him. That’s when I realized that I was in trouble. I couldn’t let him kill Grimm.

One night I asked my Alex to be honest and tell me if he killed Tim. He denied it. We continued talking and chatting before he asked for a kiss. Normally he’s wait for me to playfully kiss his cheek, but this time he leaned in and took a real kiss. During that kiss I sensed so much evil about him. I caught a vision of him killing Tim. He did it. He lied to me. That was not Alex. I didn’t know who sat in front of me at that moment. I was scared. “What is it?” he asked. I tried to play it off and I played it off the rest of the night.

After my experience with Alex I was eager to see Grimm. I knew that he was in danger. I had to warn him. I embraced him the moment I saw him and told him everything. “Who you see as Alex is actually a demon. That’s why you look so drained and pale. He is constantly sucking the life out of you,” he said. “What do I do?” He kissed me, “I’ll deal with him.”

The castle shook as they fought. I didn’t know how to handle demons. I didn’t know how strong it was. Half way through Grimm started making it more angry. All of a sudden I started feeling pins coursing through my body. It felt like blades were going in and out over and over. I screamed. The last thing I saw was the face of Grimm. I blacked out.

I opened my eyes and it was daylight outside. I was at my funeral. There Grimm stood, with flowers and heartache. I could feel it. I looked around at everyone else. Then, everything became still. Behind my tombstone, there he was, in all black, staring back at me with the biggest grin. He made his way toward me and I ran away into a nearby building where I quickly closed and locked the door behind me. It was furious knob turning before the door actually opened. I ran away, heading upstairs. It was a real nightmare. I ran upstairs as fast as I could and closed the door inches away from the demon’s face. It sounded like a furious dog was clawing at the door trying to get through. I sat on a bed in the room I was in heard three loud knocks against the door that seemed to shake the building. I cried in fear. I didn’t know what was happening. After the third knock everything was quiet. I heard a song that Grimm used to hum to me as he held me in his arms whenever I was sad. It echoed through the room and I looked around. I was trying to figure out where it was coming from. I was scared to leave the room so I looked out a nearby window. I saw the inside of my castle as I lay in Grimm’s arms. He sat, holding me in his arms, humming the song with his eyes closed. He was searching for me. I turned away from the window and looked at my arms. I was becoming more hollow. I could almost see through my body.

Grimm would always tell me, whenever I’m losing myself and I’m afraid, just come back home. Then, he would proceed to spread out his arms, inviting me in. I thought about it.

I made my way down to where we were. I positioned myself and laid into his arms. I woke up. He smiled and kissed me over and over. He told me that the demon was forever gone. “How?” I asked. “That’s not for you to worry about. You’re safe now,” he said, holding me tighter.

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